Do you remember the moment that you knew your partner was the ONE? I do. Like it was yesterday actually.
Senior year at Longwood, snuggled up in Parks’ bed on Grove in Farmville and watching the movie Family Stone. I had never seen the movie before but quickly fell in love with the real-ness of that family, the heartbreak, and the genuine love. If you haven’t seen it, watch immediately. I am a big ol cry baby, so I watched and cried trying not to scare off Parks. I should have known then that if he didn’t kick me to the curb after my snotty nose sobbing we could make it through anything. That night during the movie, Parks told me about his little cousin Hibben who had spent some time at Duke University as a baby and needed a bone marrow transplant. He got choked up talking about how much he loves his aunt Becky and how he wished he had been closer during that time when Hibben was sick. That was the moment for me.
We went on to talk about how we both wanted a big family. We wanted to one day be parents and grandparents with a big chaotic home with kids, grandkids, nieces, and nephews gathered around and just being together. That, you guys, was what sealed the deal for me.
Flash forward -that scrawny 21 year old boy who weighed 135 pounds soaking wet has somehow turned into my husband. As crazy as it is – somehow we’ve hit the 5 year mark of marriage. We bicker and drive each other insane some, alright, most days. But, there has never been a moment where I have looked into our future and pictured life without him. These past 5 years have brought me more joy than I imagined on that walk down the aisle with my dad to hand me over. We were babies in 2012 and now here we are with 2 babies of our own.
Being married with young kids is HARD and it wears me down. It makes me resentful and angry and there have been days where I have picked fights over small things just out of sheer exhaustion and frustration that I wasn’t doing it all perfectly. Those days that never end because I’ve been up with a baby all night and have food in my hair and cant remember the last time I showered? Its easy to forget about my husband. I have had days where I felt like I was a crappy wife because I needed to be an amazing mom. Because I have little people who need me for survival and little ones attached to my body, literally, 24/7. It requires a lot more logistical arrangements and planning to have a date or to even have a conversation. Its just HARD. I am not complaining, I’ve never wanted to be anything more than I have wanted to be a mom. Parks, you have given me the role that means more to me than I could ever put into words: being a mother. You have given me the title that I have dreamt of since I was a little girl playing with dolls. THANK YOU.
I truly couldn’t and wouldn’t do it with anyone else. As much as I want to strangle you when you make a random joke when I am trying to discuss our budget I really cannot picture life without you. As much as I want to throw your laundry in the front yard when it doesn’t make it inside the hamper, I love you. As much as I would like to place your belongings in the street when you leave the sink piled high with dishes, I still love you. You never hesitated when I asked you how we would manage me quitting my full time job. You never faltered when I asked what you would do if I just couldn’t walk back into my job after Grayson arrived. You didn’t skip a beat when I said I wanted to be home more and didn’t care about the corporate ladder anymore. I am thankful for these last 5 years as a married couple and 10 years together. I am excited for the next 5, 15, and 50 years. I am excited to build that big family with you (Literally, 10 more babies right?!)
If you would like my very wise advice on how to make it with your spouse for 10 years with both alive here it comes. Top 3.
Laugh. When you want to strange him/her and your arguing about something that wont matter down the road, just laugh. Bust out the running man and jam. Do not hold a grudge to win or be right. Just laugh, say sorry, and keep going.
Have a friend that will be your alibi when you are plotting that persons death. Have that friend who will say “Oh you were with me of course” with no hesitation when you text her to say you might murder said person and don’t want to spend the rest of your life in jail. Have a nice giggle and rejoice in having a friend who you can vent to openly that understands. (For the record, I wont murder you babe, I just think about it when you drive me insane. I couldn’t ever follow through because I wouldn’t survive in jail).
Rejoice in the chaos. Enjoy the Legos on the floor, the dirty sink, the stained furniture from sticky hands, the markers on the wall, and the never ending exhaustion that comes with a young marriage and young kids. Don’t stress and don’t strive for perfection. Sit back, have a drink, and be thankful for the life you have created with your partner. Someone, somewhere is dreaming and praying for the things you are taking for granted.
So off we go for another 5 years. I love you. I would follow you to the end of the world and back to see you happy. I would leave everything I have ever known and loved with our little family as long as we are all together. Where you are is where I will be.
Thanks for doing life with me Parks Smith, Happy 5 year anniversary!